The Best of “Live Tweeting My Appendectomy” (by Shane Adamczak)

DAY 1

My stomach hurts. #LiveTweetingMyStomachAche

Had some “Tums”. Didn’t seem to help much. #LiveTweetingMyStomachAche

Every step is like getting punched in the guts. Feels like it’s muscular maybe? Any ideas gang? #LiveTweetingMyStomachAche

My legs keep going numb. It was nice knowing you all. #LiveTweetingMyStomachAche

Where is your appendix and kidneys? I’m pretty sure mine all just exploded! Yep, dead for sure. Bye! #LiveTweetingMyStomachAche

All jokes aside, wouldn’t it suck if my last words were just me#LiveTweetingMyStomachAche?

Well this actually getting dumb now. I’m going to see a doctor… I’ll keep you updated via #LiveTweetingMyStomachAche

Jokes on you guys! #LiveTweetingMyStomachAche Yeah I ACTUALLY have apendisitis! I’m having surgery!

DAY 2

UPDATE! I’ve been kinda outta it til now. Surgery went well, I can’t really move ATM and my abs hurts like hell#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Are these tweets making sense? I’m High as a holy kite right now…#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Also I am wearing NO PANTS RIGHT NOW!#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Well I have to go to the bathroom. If I start getting up now, I should be there in about 20 mins. good times. #LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Okay nurses… Def feels like its time for some more drugs now, yes?#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Hurts LIKE HELL to laugh. Luckily @PeterNChrisShow have come to visit, so there’s little chance of that happening #LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Knock ‘em dead tonight @CalgaryFringe gang! I’ll be honest I will not be making it to any of your shows tonight.#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

The self proclaimed “mean” nurse is coming to make me “walk” so that I don’t get “blood clots”. What a bitch!#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Every 10 mins a nurse/doctor/cleaner makes sure I’ve been “passing gas” apparently my #farts are SUPER important#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

If anything, I wish my night nurse would take LONGER to bring me the pain meds I was due for half an hour ago.#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Everytime I go to the bathroom, the pre-chorus to Ace Of Bases’ “the sign” plays. This normal!? #LiveTweetingThePercocetKickingIn#AceOfBase

Ace of base Face of grace Gonna drop my phone on my face BEES! HI! Goodnight all, thanks for the mamories#LiveTweetingThePercocetKickingIn

DAY 3

Pain meds kicking in so I’m getting progressively higher over lunch. Is this what space/time travel feels like?#LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

That last tweet took me Almost ten minutes …. Fuuuuuuuuu

I may have just accidentally proclaimed that “I cannot be killed by conventional Weapons” quite loudly…#LiveTweetingSomethingSomething

Random Nurse comes into room with a medical tray “Last name?” (I tell her) She checks her list “you got lucky this time”  and then just leaves WTF!?

Percocet’s are kicking in for the night… Still don’t find Two & A Half Men funny… #LiveTweetingThePercocetKickingIn

@BrentHirose & SaskatoonFringe are the best! My heart just exploded with good vibes. Unfortunately forcing me to further emergency surgery.

Nursing night staff, thought we had a deal. You bring me the sweet drugs that make me feel like I’m not dying and I go back to not dying.

DAY 4

Looks like I’m getting outta here. #LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Soooo… Does this mean I can put pants on yet? Pants? HELLO!?! Nurses!?! #LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy

Pants permission has been granted! #LiveTweetingMyAppendectomy#PuttingOnPants #BitterSweet #AnotherClassicTweet

-Shane.