I recently started producing a radio show on CJLO (1690AM) called Edge of the City. It’s on every Monday from Noon to 2PM. You know what’s great about having access to a college radio station? I get to raid their library. Know what that means? It means that every Monday, I’m going to grab 3 random albums from the station, listen to them, and feature the best one here. Enjoy!
There is a god, and his name is White Willie Sniffsum. That’s right, ladies and gents, I’ve been turned into a believer by five men – no, five GENIUSES who perform as Cocaine Moustache. Yep, you read that correctly. Cocaine Moustache.
Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering how Cocaine Moustache wasn’t already something I knew about and raved about constantly. The answer is simple, folks: They’re based in Vancouver, and for some crazy reason, have yet to play around these parts. Also, they’ve only got one record out, which means we’re catching them at an early stage of what is sure to be a steady climb to the top of this snowy mountain we call the music industry. Cocaine Moustache’s “On the Mirror” is hands down the best debut album of any band in the history of rock and roll. It’s a perfect blend of testosterone, heavy drug use, and badassery. (Note: According to Matt Goldberg, if I start using a word, it becomes part of the english language. In two years, when you look up badassery, there will be a picture of Cocaine Moustache in the dictionary.) On The Mirror is an onslaught of murderous riffs, in-your-face lyrics, and all the stamina and energy you would expect from powder-lovers from BC. I can’t help but wonder if White Willie Sniffsum used to perform with a band called Muscle Bitches. If any of you are familiar with them, you may see some resemblance in their vocal stylings. Or maybe it’s just the cocaine talking.
Speaking of which, I know you’re gonna want to dip into your own personal stash of cocaine to properly enjoy this album. Luckily, Cocaine Moustache are many, many steps ahead of you: They’ve included an actual coke straw in the packaging of this album, for your use and listening pleasure. Now do a line and press play:
I hereby pledge allegiance to Cocaine Moustache, eternal rulers of the rock and roll world. Gentlemen, if you’re reading, check your inboxes – I’ll be trying to contact you shortly.
-Al




